Arms of the Barony of Wastekeep

Order of the Ailing Wit

Early in the history of Wastekeepshire, it became obvious that something had to be done about the rampant punning taking place in the shire, that is the shire was ever to be considered as more than an eccentric and provincial center of bad taste, and so a pun tax of 25 cents per pun was levied and along with it was created the of Grand Puntiff was Lord Artur de Sole.

Some short time after this tax was levied it became clear that some members of the shire would soon go broke. So to keep the shire from having to support these impoverished miscreants, and yet still offer some semblance of protection to the general populace from their obnoxious puns, the shire created the Order of the Ailing Wit, pronounced "Ow, like "Ow, I just stubbed my toe". Its members would be exempt from the pun tax, but would be required to bear somewhere upon their person the betraying letter OAW as a warning to innocent persons who might engage them in civil conversation.

It was also at this time that the Order took as its symbol, if not proudly, at least fittingly, the infamous rubber chicken. Shortly after its inception, Johann Thorsson was made its second Grand Puntiff and soon made its first member, that paragon of genteel virtue and I am quite sure totally undeserving recipient of this damning social stigma, the then Lord Dyon de Mantel. It was not long before the Order's second and third members were added, those being Alvyn Eustace and David of Babylon, and as time passed others were added as well. Then, oh sorry day, when Ulfred was Prince of AnTir, he decided, with no justifiable reason that I can see, to inflict this nefarious Order upon the Principality. This is why, in later years, one might hear him being referred to as Ulfred the Black Prince, or Ulfred the Vile. Fortunately there was a problem with making the OAW a Principality Order. There was already a chartered OAW, that being the Order of Arachne's Web. Unfortunately that did not stop wily Prince Ulfred who after lengthy, and in my mind wasted, deliberation over a large jug of questionable wine, renamed it The Whimsical Order of the Ailing Wit, or WOAW, pronounced "Woe" like "Oh woe is me!", and chartered it as a Principality Order.

Shortly after AnTir became a Kingdom, Johann Thorsson turned over the scepter of the Grand Puntificate, that aforementioned chicken, to one Payne of Wooderising, who actually seemed interested in promoting the sorry group, and so the Barony of Wastekeep bid a tardy adieu to the WOAW, sending this ill begotten child out into an unsuspecting world, and fervently hoped it would eventually find the final death it so richly deserved. Unfortunately, this does not seem to be the case. As I was charged to do, so have I written down this history to the best of my recollection, while remembering the words of a great and sometimes sorry Prince, "Never let the truth stand in the way of a good story."

Signed this Twenty-first day of January, AS 30, Bro. Bombastio Verbosi Scribe to His Excellency Sir Dyon de Mantel, Baron Wastekeep